Accountability – or lack there of

So, I’ve been struggling.  I go through phases…

One phase I am completely 100% confident in my body.  I know I’m hot.  I know I’m gorgeous.  I’m absolutely perfect. – so why work at it?  Why work out today? Why shouldn’t I eat that?

Then I go through self-loathing phases where I pinch everything on my body…even my elbows and knees…really?  Really?  And I think – well I’m so far from my goal, why work at it?  Why work out today?  Why shouldn’t I eat that?  Especially since the past year has proven that it doesn’t work…

Generally speaking, I can feel like this multiple times in a month.  Fun times…men, don’t you totally wish you could experience this?!

For the most part, I have a very healthy self-body image and I can honestly say that it is 90% because of my parents that I had it growing up and about 90% because of my husband that I still feel like this as an adult. 

The common theme, however, is why do I have to work at it?  I have especially been struggling with this because I tried it for a year and it didn’t work.  The only time in the past year that I lost weight was a two month period where I was literally too busy to eat regularly…only eating about 900 calories a day those months.  Not exactly the healthiest.  

Part of my problem is…I don’t have any accountability.  I mean seriously…my husband can only help so much.  What is he going to do?  Make me feel guilty about not working out or eating something I shouldn’t?  No!  He’s not stupid.

So, I’m going to try to use this as a means of keeping myself accountable.  I’m not going to promise that I’ll post daily about my food intake or workouts, but I’d like to do it on at least a weekly basis…

I’ve been thinking about joining a gym for the group classes.  I’m really interested in Zumba and hip-hop dance aerobics classes, so I’ll think I’ll look into it.  I’m also going to give Yoga a try since Jenn won’t leave me alone about it keeps encouraging me to try it.  I figure since what I’ve been doing hasn’t helped, maybe something a little less traditional for weight loss might work.

Fingers crossed…